Let me tell you about my dad. He has always been an amazing man. He’s been fun, and extremely out going. He and my mom taught me the gospel and taught me to love life and our beautiful world. He has always been my friend as well as a wonderful father.
That being said, sometimes, lately, I have had a real hard time being with him. As late as last weekend he was frustrating me to no end. Visiting him at the care center had become a negative experience because he is often not very pleasant to be around. He is depressed, angry, and negative about everything and everyone around him. I visit regularly, but I have gone away angry, frustrated or depressed. Seldom have I gone away happy that I had been able to spend time with him.
Well that all changed just a couple of days ago. My son Cameron, who was visiting dad with me, made a comment to me that was life changing. He told me to let dad say what he wants and to not try to correct him when he says things that are “off-the-wall.” He reminded me that I should just listen and not try to correct him. Roughly translated, I figured that means that I do not need to make “editorial comments.” Basically he was telling me to just let dad be happy. As I said, that was life changing for me. I’ve been thinking since then that maybe I have been more focused on my own needs, than I have on his.
Dad can no longer walk. He is frail and is in extremely poor heath. He has been diagnosed with dementia. Life, at least from a health point of view, really sucks! I can finally understand that it must be really hard for him to keep up a positive outlook when the life that he has always known is gone. The future is really scary for dad, and thankfully, for me, my perspective has now changed before it was too late.
I am now determined to make his remaining days as happy for him as possible. I will smile when I want to cry and I will hug him when I want to throw something. I will let him say what he wants to say, even if it doesn’t make sense; and above all, I will love him unconditionally and be grateful for any time that we still have together in this life. Dad is almost 87. He deserves that and more!
Thanks for everything dad! I love you.
Well that all changed just a couple of days ago. My son Cameron, who was visiting dad with me, made a comment to me that was life changing. He told me to let dad say what he wants and to not try to correct him when he says things that are “off-the-wall.” He reminded me that I should just listen and not try to correct him. Roughly translated, I figured that means that I do not need to make “editorial comments.” Basically he was telling me to just let dad be happy. As I said, that was life changing for me. I’ve been thinking since then that maybe I have been more focused on my own needs, than I have on his.
Dad can no longer walk. He is frail and is in extremely poor heath. He has been diagnosed with dementia. Life, at least from a health point of view, really sucks! I can finally understand that it must be really hard for him to keep up a positive outlook when the life that he has always known is gone. The future is really scary for dad, and thankfully, for me, my perspective has now changed before it was too late.
I am now determined to make his remaining days as happy for him as possible. I will smile when I want to cry and I will hug him when I want to throw something. I will let him say what he wants to say, even if it doesn’t make sense; and above all, I will love him unconditionally and be grateful for any time that we still have together in this life. Dad is almost 87. He deserves that and more!
Thanks for everything dad! I love you.
4 comments:
I really think that is a great outlook that you have developed and I truly admire your strength. I can imagine how hard it is for you to be around him from the events and negativity that have been often occurring. Just be sure to be so very grateful that he has raised and seen you do so many great things in the past 55...I mean 26 years! ;) Please feel blessed to know that he knows your children and grandchildren and has love for them, and that he has seen you become the beautiful woman you are.
What great advice...really for everyone in a lot of situations. I do feel for Grandpa in his current situation. He is lucky to have you though.
I am glad Elizabeth told me about your blog, it is fun to see what you are up to since I don't get to see you very often! Hopefully I'll see you at Alayna's shower.
www.ericandelicia.blogspot.com
Hey Annette! You're awesome! Thanks for the great outlook on Grandpa. I will definitely have a different attitude when I go visit him in the future. Hey I finally got our blog started. There isn't much there yet. We're getting a new camera in a couple of days so hopefully I'll get some new pictures.
www.joshandelizabeth.blogspot.com
Hi Annette ... we enjoyed reading your message too. It's nice to sometimes have someone to encourage you to step back and look at a situation from a different angle. We've appreciated your thoughts! See ya tomorrow!
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